Clashing Souls
by AprilThorne
Summary: Clare and Eli's relationship continues to develop, but as things start to turn towards romance, Clare discovers something about Eli that puts a wedge between them. Will they settle their differences or fall further apart?
1. Damaged Goods

**Chapter 1**

_Damaged Goods_

**Clare's POV:**

Clare Edwards had found that she was waking up to her alarm less and less these days. She was starting to debate whether she even needed it anymore, considering her parent's arguments were coming on like clockwork nowadays. Here it was, ten minutes before her alarm was even set to go off, and the rise of shouting voices was pounding through the house, waking Clare from her dreams.

Well, time to get up, she thinks to herself as she grudgingly pulls the covers back and flips her feet over the side of the mattress. She makes quick work of making her way to the bathroom, the voices briefly more pounding as she passes her parent's bedroom. However once she is inside of her bathroom, she quickly flips on the shower valve and the pounding of the water quickly drowns out all other noise in the house.

Was it sad that her shower was her favorite time of the day lately? It was just that it was the only time when every trouble could just disappear, even if only for a few minutes. It was just so cleansing, and not just in the literal sense. She could feel her problems rolling off of her chest and washing down the drain with the stream of water. She always made a point of dragging out her shower as long as possible. But it could never last before her brief bliss would be interrupted.

And of course there is a pounding on the door, soon followed by a voice from the other end. The strained and irritated voice of her mother… "Clare Edwards, you save some hot water for the rest of us."

Well, it was good while it lasted. She shut off the water with a sigh, stepping out and rapidly getting along with getting ready for her day. She spent the rest of her morning at home eating her oatmeal and listening to her parents exchanging snarky comments back and forth. They were never so forwards as to fight right in front of her, but it was as if they couldn't resist a bitter retort whenever they could slip one in.

The car ride to school with her mother really wasn't any better. It was tense, and silent except for the dull sounds of talk radio from her mother's favorite Christian station. No questions of how school was going, or about church fundraisers… just painstaking silence. The only words exchanged are the brief goodbyes as she steps out of the car.

Lord help me through this day, she silently prays as she hitches her backpack over her shoulder, hoping that today school would prove itself a solace from her home life rather than adding more unnecessary stress. However school was proving to be just as stressful as her house. Where would she have to go to find some peace in her life?

**Eli's POV:**

Another day at Degrassi, another adventure. Hopefully, at least. Eli couldn't stand another boring day of the same classes and the same happenings. His one beacon of shining hope was that Clare was very rarely absent, and it always seemed to brighten his day if he managed to annoy her at least once. His friendship with Clare was quickly becoming one of his more interesting interactions.

And of course as he sat there inside ole' Morty with Dead Hand blaring on the radio, he could see Clare getting out of her mom's car. A crooked smirk played at his lips as he pulled the key from the ignition and rushed to catch up with her as she walked through the front doors.

"Mornin' sunshine." He piped up with false buoyancy as he caught up with her. However it was easy to see that she wasn't feeling so sunny this morning.

"Morning, Eli." She replied with an entire lack of enthusiasm. She was obviously feeling pretty down this particular morning. It seemed to be like that a lot these days. He could only assume it had to do with her parents. But considering that as of late she has been opening up less and less about that, Eli really couldn't know how bad the situation was. All he could know was the affect it was having on Clare.

Up until they parted ways, their entire conversation was filled with lack luster fluff. Eli couldn't stand to have Clare like this, seeing as it took all of the fun of being his sarcastic and charming self. He knew he was going to have to do something to get her out of this rut. However his exact plans were a little unsure right now.

But Eli had no worries, he had the entire day of not paying attention through classes to figure out his exact plan of attack…

Better yet, why go to his classes at all? Eli could feel and idea striking him, but if he was going to pull it off he really couldn't do so from a classroom. Just before reaching his first class, he swerved his way back through the crowd and rushed his way back to Morty.

He would have to work fast if he was going to get back in time for lunch. Sure, he would probably just ditch back out after only to make it back in time for English with Clare. If he didn't want her catching on that something was up, he would at least make sure he was where he was everywhere that she was expecting him to be.

**Okay everyone, so this is my first fan fiction on this site so any and all comments would be helpful! :)  
**


	2. Dust and Disappointment

**Chapter 2**

_Dust and Disappointment  
_

**Eli's POV:**

As Eli maneuvered the roads back towards home he was kicking himself internally for being such a procrastinator. Soon after he and his dad moved in, they had come across an old underground wine cellar just off of the house. Considering the fact that Eli's father was not much of a wine person (hard liquor being more his style), he had given Eli permission to do what he wanted with the space. '_Anything to get some of that weird junk of yours out of my house,' _had been his exact words on the matter.

Now over the past few weeks Eli had managed to make some progress, such as getting all of the old wine racks out and moving a few pieces of hand-me-down type furniture down. But it was still all kind of a mess to tell the truth. He hadn't even bothered with swatting down all of the cobwebs down yet, seeing as he hadn't been in any hurry before to get it fixed up.

But now he had a reason to finish what he started: Clare. Even though she may not have asked for his help, he could just tell that she needed something to pull her out of her current rut. And considering that it was assumable that her problems right now were rooted at home, why not offer her the solace of a home away from home?

And it was with that in mind that he set straight to work on finishing what he started. Though now that he had to make the place girl friendly (or at the very least Clare friendly), he knew that he had a lot more cut out for him than he had originally planned on. He worked rigorously over the next few hours, sweeping cleaning, and getting the furniture he had down there more organized in the space. But he felt his time was running short, and there was still so much to be done! Not only that but it was growing dangerously close to lunch hour.

He could go back now to avoid Clare's suspicions of him being up to something, but then he would risk not having the job done before he had to be back at the end of the day for English. And that would just ruin his whole plan. It was decided, just as class was supposed to be getting out he flipped open his phone and threw Clare a text, sending her a last minute excuse as to why he wouldn't be at lunch today.

Whether or not she bought it, he would find out when he got to class today, but for now it was back to work! There were still a lot of finishing touches he had to make before this place could be considered a Clare friendly environment. She really deserved the best, and he wanted to give Clare what she deserved.

Now honestly, Eli was starting to scare himself with how much he was beginning to care about Clare's well being. Well about Clare in general, really. To actually care about another person had not really been Eli's style in the past, but he seemed to be breaking that pattern a lot lately. Not only with Clare but with Adam as well… Eli actually had real friends here at Degrassi, and that made him worried that he now had more to lose than ever before. But more to gain it seemed as well.

Ha, finally and with time to spare Eli could deem the space perfect for a home away from home for his downtrodden friend. He was feeling pretty danged proud of himself as he drove back to school, walking into class just before the bell rang. Perfect timing, seeing as that meant Clare would have no time to question him on where he had been all day. But all would reveal itself in time. She would just have to wait until after school to find out exactly what Eli had in store for her.

**Clare's POV:**

It was unfortunate how Clare had been able to find so little to distract her while she was at school today. It was surprising that even while her teachers were drilling a number of facts and figures into her brain she still had enough space left in there to worry about how severe her parent's fighting would be when she made it home tonight.

Now if there was one person she thought she could count on to make her fret about everything but her home life, it would be Eli. But she had to make it all the way to her lunch hour for that distraction. She had even allowed herself to begin to look forward to it, however that seemed a mistake as she received a text just as she was hurrying towards the cafeteria.

_**Eli G.**_

_Forgot my English paper home. _

_Ditching lunch 2 pick it up._

_C ya in class! _

Well that was just perfect. Why was it on the one day she really could have used his annoying snarky sarcasm he had to forget his homework at home? She sat through the entire lunch period being disgruntled and frustrated how nothing seemed to be going right in her life at the moment. Even the people that were supposed to be making her mad were ditching out on her!

By the time English rolled around she was already thoroughly annoyed and she dragged her feet as she made it into the classroom. Of course she had gotten there before Eli, who strolled in just as the bell rang for class to begin. Of course that meant she didn't even get to chew him out about not being at lunch today. So typical!

She was so dead set on giving Eli a piece of her mind, that she was thinking about what she was going to say to him the whole class period. However when the bell finally rang and she turned around in her seat to face him, he beat her to the punch and spoke before she had a chance to get one word in.

"Hey call your mom and let her know your coming over to my place after school today. Say we're working on a homework assignment or something." Clare was a little caught off guard by his statement. He had never invited her over to his place before… what was the catch?

"Was that an invitation or a demand, Mr. Goldsworthy?" She replied shortly, trying to let him see that he wasn't exactly her favorite person in the world at the moment.

"It was simply a matter of fact. Call her, then come meet me out by Morty. " And with that Eli stood from his seat and walked out of the classroom.

Was it wrong of Clare to be suspicious? What was Eli playing at? Well whatever it was, she was going to have to find out with time, since she knew no matter how much she grilled him he would be too stubborn to just give in and tell her. So she really didn't have much of a choice; she called her mom and let her know she would be at a friend's house working on homework. And though she was not any less wary of Eli's intentions, she started heading for the parking lot, looking for that distinctive hearse.

**Good? Bad? Let me know how I'm doing! :D**


	3. Heavy Hearts, Lifted Spirits

**Chapter 3**

_Heavy Hearts, Lifted Spirits_

**Eli's POV:**

Eli sat inside old Morty, watching the front doors of Degrassi expectantly. He had no doubt in his mind that Clare would make that phone call and would soon be meeting him right here as he had instructed. Yeah, he was just that confident in the charm he had over Clare. And of course within minutes he could see the spunky brunette storming in the direction of the hearse. She seemed to be making a point of making it look like she wasn't too pleased about this whole situation, but that was to be expected as far as Eli's experience with this girl had shown him.

Now being the gentleman Eli was, he hopped out of the driver's seat and walked around to the other side of the car, opening up the passenger door for Clare. "After you, ma'am." He stated, a little over dramatically I might add, which resulted in Clare giving him quite the death stare.

"Eli, you call me ma'am again, and I swear I will sock you." She retorted snidely, but she still slipped into the car, fastened her seatbelt and sat there stiff as a nail and arms crossed against her chest.

"How very Christian of you!" Eli replied with a laugh before closing the passenger door and running back around to slide into the driver's seat. He looked over at Clare with his signature crooked smile and shook his head, seeing as he could tell she was going to be stubbornly silent for at least most of the ride there. That god it would be a short trip, because even Eli could only take the silent treatment for so long.

"Hold on to your hats." Eli said jokingly as he started the ignition, the radio immediately blaring to life as they pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road. Eli made a point of humming and singing along to the radio as they went along, simply to contradict Clare's brooding with his own chipper attitude. Oh, he could tell that it was not appreciated by the way she kept throwing glares across the cab of the hearse at him.

"So where is it you are actually taking me?" Eli suddenly heard spat at him from the passenger seat. Well at least it was better than her just sitting there and coldly staring into oblivion.

"Are you calling me a liar, Clare? That hurts. So much that I don't think I can respect that question with an answer." He said with a mock pout and a sniffle. To which Clare seemed to be only able to roll her eyes and throw her hands up in the air in frustration.

"Fine, Eli, have it your way." She said with a huff. Well at least they wouldn't have much further to go, in a mere few minutes they were pulling up in front of his house. Eli hopped out and ran around to open the door for Clare, at which point she stepped out of the hearse with a look on her face that said both surprise and puzzlement.

"Huh, you actually brought me to your house? For some reason when you lured me into your hearse I thought I would end up six feet under." She said, cracking her first smirk all day. Aha, now there's that sense of humor, Eli knew it was hiding in there somewhere.

"Actually, you'll probably end up further down than that." Eli replied with a laugh, though seeing Clare's concerned expression, he figured he better explain. "Honestly, we're not going in the house. There's kind of something that I wanted to show you." He said as he held out his hand for Clare's expectantly, though she seemed to be rather hesitant. "You are just going to have to trust me, Clare."

**Clare's POV:**

Oh sure, Eli wanted her to trust him. And as much of a joke that sounded like in her head, for some odd reason, she really did trust him. She took in a deep breath as her shaky hand fell into his. It was strange how much of it comfort it seemed to be, just having him holding her hand like that, having him guide her as they started to walk around the side of his house.

All sorts of scenarios started to play through Clare's mind right now. What, was there a cemetery in his back yard? It wouldn't be all that surprising actually. This was _Eli_ we were talking about after all. This was the boy who wore all black and drove a hearse. However, it would just seem too cliché, even for Eli. The one thing she had learned about him was the second you thought you had him down, he went and surprised you. It was better to just not have any expectancy when it came to Eli.

As they came around the corner to the back of the house, Eli released her hand and walked over to a wooden door… that lead into the ground? "So that's where you stash the bodies."

"Every serial killer needs a home office." Eli said with a smirk, laughing when Clare rolled her eyes at him. Okay, when you are leading a girl down into a dark hole, you probably shouldn't be joking about being a serial killer. Even so, that wasn't going to stop Clare from following. Or rather being led…

Definitely the case seeing as Eli was now behind her with his hands over her eyes. "Don't you think this is kind of overkill?" Clare said, a little nervous at the possibility of falling down that flight of stone steps. But that was immediately washed away as Eli leaned in and whispered a single word in her ear. "_Trust"._

She trusted him. And she had to keep telling herself that over and over again as they slowly descended into the abyss. She could feel the air getting cooler and there was a faint smell of earth and cedar about her. Not long and they were coming to an abrupt halt, which could only signal that they had reached the end of the line. _"Ready?"_, she could hear Eli whisper in her ear, to which she could only nod, not really sure what she was supposed to be ready for.

And then his hands pulled away from her eyes, though it was going to take her eyes a moment to adjust to the dimmer lighting seeing as it had been rather bright outside. But when she did finally see what was around her, she was a little surprised. They seemed to be in some sort of underground room with wood paneled walls and floors. There was an odd array of furniture including a couple of couches, a twin mattress on a box spring in one corner, and a bookcase that was filled lest for one completely open shelf. Oh, and of course a number of posters on the walls, mostly of bands, although she had not heard of all of them. She turned to Eli with utter shock.

"Eli, what is this?" She asked, completely bewildered as to why Eli had chosen to bring her here. It almost seemed as though it were some sort of hangout, though that still did not explain why Eli had chosen to bring her here of all people.

"Look, I know you've been having troubles at home, and I thought maybe you just needed a place to get away. Just consider this a home away from home, Clare. You are welcome down here anytime you need to somewhere to go." Eli told her, though Clare could hardly believe this was all happening.

"You did this all for me?" She asked completely stunned, to which Eli could only respond with a nod. She felt entirely touched, no one had ever done anything so nice for her before. She really wasn't sure how she was supposed to react, but the only reaction that seemed to come were tears forming in the corners of her eyes. Then spilling out and running down her cheeks. And before she knew it she was full on crying, though she wished that she wasn't. She was afraid that Eli would think he had done something wrong, when in fact it was exactly the opposite. He had just done something entirely _right_.

She assumed that her tears were probably making Eli uncomfortable or nervous, however the next thing she knew his arms were wrapped tightly around her and her face was buried in his chest. As she continued to get the front of his t-shirt wet the only words that she seemed to be able to manage were sniffled "_I'm sorry's_" and "_thank you's_", both being repeated over and over again while he just stood there silently and held her. How had she ever managed to be so lucky as to have someone like Eli care so much about her?

**My updates may be a little spread out over the next week or so. I'm going to be in a wedding this weekend so everything is going to be a little hectic until that is all over and done with. But please keep reviewing and hopefully you can be patient with me! xD**


	4. Too Close For Comfort

**Chapter 4  
**

_Too Close For Comfort_

**Clare's POV:**

The rest of the evening seemed to have gone by in such a blur. One minute she had been crying her eyes out, and the next she was spilling to Eli about everything she was feeling about her home life, her parents, school, etc. It was surprising to her just how calm and understanding Eli had remained through the entire ordeal. He sat there quietly and listened when she needed him to, and seemed to know exactly what to say about every situation to make her feel better. It was just such a relief and a comfort to actually have someone for once be able to understand what she was going through. More than that, Eli seemed to really _get_ her.

After what felt like several hours of talking, Clare must have apparently began to doze off. Leaning against Eli as they sat on one of the couches, his arm draped over her shoulder, her head seemed to nestle itself into his chest as her eyes fluttered shut. It was not long before she was out like a light, resting more peacefully than she had in months.

And as she slept she dreamed, and her dreams seemed to be filled with one person: Eli. It started mundanely enough, flashing back to memories of them together at school and several of the times he had managed to annoy her. But then it shifted to Eli bringing her down into the cellar, and the memories started twisting themselves. She was crying against his chest just as she had been, but rather than the comforting words he had provided, he simply reached down, lifting her face up to look at his. _"You are so beautiful, Clare Edwards."_ Dream Eli had said, just before leaning down and kissing her lips softly. And then not so softly...

This was about the point that Clare jolted awake, her breathing quick and heavy. Her brain was panicking as she tried to make sense of why her subconscious self had put those images into her head. She and Eli were just friends! Right?

But as she started to realize that she was still tucked in next to Eli on the couch, his body next to hers feeling safe and warm, she started to wonder if maybe there was some truth behind her dreams. Lifting her eyes up to his face she could see that he too had dozed off. She was able to openly admire the way his hair was falling into his face, and how even as he slept a smirk seemed to be hidden in those lips. He was definitely beautiful. And Clare was realizing that her feelings for Eli were indeed starting to become more than friendly.

But wait, she couldn't let that happen! It had been so long since she has had a friend really get her like Eli does and she couldn't let herself ruin things again. She had let things get romantic with KC, and look how well that turned out. She didn't want to make that mistake again. In a bit of a panic she carefully untangled herself from Eli's sleeping form, searching desperately for where she had put her bag down. And of course when she found it she pulled out her phone, seeing that she had missed two phone calls and a text message from her mother.

_**Mom:**_

_Where are you? _  
_You were supposed to be home over an hour ago!_

Well that was just great, now she was probably going to be in huge trouble when she got home. She texted her mom back, telling her that things ran late on her project. She apologized for not calling to let her know and said she was on her way home now. At least the good news was that Eli only lived a few blocks away from her house, so she would be able to walk. She really couldn't bring herself to wake him up right now, she just needed time to process everything that had happened here tonight.

And so as quietly as Clare could manage she grabbed her things and slipped silently up to ground level. As she walked briskly away, she turned to take one last glance back at the house, the hearse parked right where they had left it. I'm sorry Eli, she thought to herself as she bolted into a run, not stopping until she made it all the way home.

**Eli's POV:**

Finally, Eli seemed to be breaking through to Clare! He was more than ecstatic that she was actually opening up to him, letting him help her. He stayed perfectly patient the entire night, letting her get it all out into the open. He was thinking that this was a big step for Clare, as well as for their friendship. Though honestly as far as Eli was concerned, their "friendship" seemed to be reaching a gray area.

If there was one thing he learned from tonight, it was that he really cared more about Clare than he had allowed himself to believe before. Even with her eyes tear stained and bloodshot, he still could not think of any other girl he could consider more stunning than her. And with that his mind was made up on the matter: he liked Clare Edwards. Sure, they were probably the most unlikely pair you could imagine, seeing as they were so completely opposite of each other. But that just seemed to prove that opposites really do attract. And Eli was actually okay with that.

Eli pondered the sort of possibilities the two of them could have as he watched the girl falling asleep in his arms. She looked so serene, like every depiction of an angel that Eli had ever seen. In fact she was the closest thing to the real deal than Eli had ever beheld. And with her safely dozing, he could see no harm in admitting it aloud. _"You are so beautiful, Clare Edwards."_ He said in a whisper, admiring her for just a moment before drifting off to sleep himself, comforted by the warm body next to him. But it seemed as though that warmth wouldn't last.

When Eli started to wake very early the following morning, it was impossible to miss the chilled void of where Clare had once been. He jumped up, looking around the space to see if perhaps she had just moved elsewhere. But no, she was gone and so were her things. What had gone wrong? He racked his brain over that question over and over as he took his time getting ready for school. Perhaps she just needed to get home, he thought. But then why hadn't she woken him to tell him she was leaving? He would have gladly given her a ride home,and he didn't really like the idea that she may have walked home at such a late hour.

For once, Eli actually showed up _early_ for school, waiting out front for Clare to show up. When he saw her mom's car pulling up and her stepping out, he began to walk determinedly up to her. However when he caught a glimpse at her eyes there seemed to be so much conflict there that it stopped him dead in his tracks. Clare eventually closed the gap that remained between them, staying awkwardly silent for a moment or two before Eli finally managed to chime up.

"What happened to you last night? You had me worried." He finally managed to get out as his eyes continued to search her face for any hint as to if she was angry or upset with him. Why was it that she had to be so difficult to read?

"Sorry, I really had to get home. My mom is pretty mad, I don't think it's a good idea if I come over again anytime soon." She was making excuses and Eli knew it. And what was more frustrating than her excuse was the fact that she couldn't even look him in the eye as she said it. Eli was seriously considering calling her out on it, but Clare didn't give him the chance. She mumbled something about needing to get to class before brushing right past him, moving as fast as her feet would carry her.

Well this was a mess, Eli thought to himself. He was frustrated and confused as to why Clare was acting the way she was. How was he going to be able to fix this?

**And I'm back! Sorry for the delay, weddings are definitely majorly draining on the creative flow.**


	5. A Shock to the System

**Chapter 5  
**

_A Shock to the System  
_

**Eli's POV:**

Eli's entire day went by in some sort of hazy blur. He wasn't focusing, and didn't even care that he was absorbing absolutely none of the information in his classes. The only thing that seemed to matter in his mind right now was Clare, class could wait. What had he done to offend her? He was pretty sure from her initial reaction it hadn't been the gesture of the home away from home itself... that seemed to go over great as a matter of fact. so it must have been something he had said or done. But that didn't make sense either! He hadn't made a pass at her or insulted her, or even use any of his usual tactics to try and get under her skin... So perhaps he was wrong. Maybe it had nothing to do with him, or at least not in the way he was imagining.

Even if that were the case, he could not and would not let Clare continue to push him away like this. He had been so close to breaking Clare out of that extra strength shell of hers, and he couldn't just let himself give up now. Something told him that if he persevered then his efforts would be well rewarded.

And persevere he would. Come lunch time, Eli was determined. He immediately found their regular table where Clare and Adam were already sitting, and slid in next to Clare with purpose. He continued by throwing Adam a glance as to say _'I need to be alone with Clare'_. Needless to say the hint was definitely received.

"Shoot, I forgot something in my locker... Be right back." Adam said in an unbelievable tone as he stood up from their table and wandered in the opposite direction, throwing glances back over his shoulder as he went. Eli would have to remember to explain everything to Adam later, and thank him for being a bud on this one. Right now, however, Eli had bigger fish to fry. Fish by the name of Clare Edwards.

"Now Clare, if I did anything to offend you please tell me now. I'll apologize, you say all is forgiven, and we can both go on with our normal lives." Eli declared in the most straight forward fashion he could muster. But it didn't take a genius to see that Clare's response was not going to be so clean cut and direct. There seemed to be so much inner turmoil going on in that little head of hers, and Eli could not imagine for the life of him what could possibly be the cause of it.

"Eli, you didn't do anything, I swear. I just have so much on my mind right now I just need some space and a little time to sort it all out." Funny, yesterday it seemed as though she had no problem telling him what was on her mind. What could have possibly changed between now and then that made it so she couldn't trust him with whatever she had on her mind? Well at any rate at least now he knew for sure that there was nothing he had done to cause her distance. But still, that didn't mean he was going to continue to allow her to keep avoiding him this way.

"Well do you think you will have had enough time by Sunday? My dad is going to be out of town starting that day, and when he is gone is pretty much the only time that my house is ever quiet. I was thinking we could proof read those English papers we have due on Monday or something." Now he had no intention of just leaving her alone until Sunday rolled along, but he figured if they had solid plans just a few days away then it would bring this whole 'sorting things out' period to a shorter end. It seemed as though for a moment Clare was going to say no, but then it seemed as though another idea was crossing her mind.

"The thing is I actually have to be at church on Sunday. But... well, if you wanted to come with me I'm sure my folks would be willing to let me work on it with you after." Oh, crap. Now Eli had really been hoping to put this particular conversation off for as long as possible, but it seemed as though it was going to be unavoidable. He couldn't use the '_I'm busy'_ excuse seeing as he had just tried making plans with her for that day. And any other excuse he could think of he knew she would be able to tell was a lie. Might as well bite the bullet now and get it over with...

"Um, Clare? The thing is..." Deep breaths, Eli, it's not _that_ big of a deal. "The thing is I'm actually sort of an atheist. I really don't think I would be comfortable going to church."

**Clare's POV:**

An atheist. An atheist? Had Clare seriously just heard Eli correctly? Atheist as in a person who did not believe in a god of any form? Gosh, Clare, you know what the word means, stop analyzing it and hoping the definition will change!

Now of everything that Eli has ever said or done that surprised her in the past, this one definitely took the cake. Clare was so thrown for a loop that she really didn't know how to respond to that. How was it that she (the girl that everyone referred to as St. Clare) ever end up so deeply involved with someone who didn't believe in God whatsoever? For a girl who's entire lifestyle revolved around religion the idea of a total lack of faith was unfathomable to Clare.

She must have opened and closed her mouth a thousand times by now, still entirely unsure of how she was supposed to respond to such a statement. Honestly, she was a little surprised that he had even had the guts to tell her such a thing. He knew about her religious background, and he must have known that this one part of his lifestyle was going to be particularly difficult for her to digest. In fact, simply watching Eli's face as he tried to gauge her reaction, she could tell that he was probably regretting his decision to let her in on that one detail of his personal beliefs.

At the same time, she had to wonder if it was better he tell her now rather than wait for her to find out on her own somehow. True the situation would be worse if he had blatantly tried to hide it from her first, but it was still difficult for her to process, even with his honesty on the subject.

"Well, if you think it will make you uncomfortable, you are not obligated to come. I just thought I should extend the invitation." She said shortly, coming off as more cold than she was even intending to. She started to rush along with making sure her bag was properly packed and fastened up before slinging it dramatically over her shoulder and stalking off towards where her next class was going to be. She could hear Eli shout her name out pleadingly as though asking her to please come back, but she couldn't even turn to look. She had obviously bitten off more than she could chew when it came to Eli, and perhaps space was exactly what she needed to cope with all of this new information that seemed to be thrown her way over the past twenty-four hours.

Who knows, this could all be a blessing in disguise. His lack of faith in god could be just what Clare needs to get over this ridiculous crush of hers.


	6. A Heated Argument

**Chapter 6  
**

_A Heated Argument  
_

**Eli's POV:**

Eli couldn't believe this was happening. There was no possible way that Clare could be that upset about this! Seriously, wasn't the mark of a good 'christian' to be accepting and loving of all mankind? At the same time, most of the christians Eli had come across had been pretty big hypocrites. He had met several that held the 'cure the heathens of their godless ways' persona, so Eli supposed that things could always be worse. He could handle Clare being temporarily upset with him, but he couldn't stand if she had tried to turn him into some sort of project.

Well let's see, what were Eli's options right now? He could always give Clare some space, let her figure things out on her own... but that just wasn't Eli's style. He was just going to have to make her see sense. And to do that he was going to have to get sneaky again.

When English came along at the end of the day Eli made sure that he was going in the door the same time as Clare, intentionally bumping into her. Clare didn't say a word in response, just glared at him before storming out in front of him and taking her seat with a huff. Good, at least Clare seemed to assume that Eli was just being a jerk. What she hadn't seen was that when he bumped into her, Eli's hand had slipped into her bag and nicked her phone from it's specified compartment.

As Eli sat down just behind Clare, he flipped open her phone under his desk, scrolling through her contacts until he reached 'Mom'. All he had to do was send one text message and his plan would be set...

_Hey mom!_  
_I don't need you to pick me up today._  
_Huge test tomorrow, _  
_Alli and I will be at the library._  
_Promise I'll be home early!_

Well that sounded convincing enough for Eli's taste. And apparently Clare's mom thought so too, seeing as within moments she had sent a response, causing the phone to vibrate in Eli's hand.

_**Mom:**_

_Alright Sweetheart!  
Just call if you need me to come pick you up._

That was just too easy, Eli thought to himself with a smirk as he pocketed the phone. Eli sat there waiting patiently until the final bell rang. He watched as Clare rushed out of the room in an obvious attempt to avoid him. There will be no avoiding me today, Edwards. Eli headed straight out to old Morty and pulled around to where he could see Clare standing by the street, checking her watch with a puzzled expression.

"Get in." He told her through the open window as he pulled to a stop right in front of her.

"Can't. My mom is on her way to get me. She's going to be here any minute." Clare snapped back at him, crossing her arms against her chest and looking up and down the street for any sign of her mom's car.

"No she's not." He stated plainly, pulling her phone out of his pocket to show her. Her mouth gaped open as she checked her bag, realizing that he did indeed have her phone. "Well you better get in before you are left here completely stranded."

Clare got in the car, though she definitely did not look happy about it. Eli then drove them the short distance to the library and parked out front. At least if Clare's mom decided to come looking for her she would be where she is supposed to be. Eli turned off the ignition and turned in his seat to face Clare.

"Look, I know that you aren't exactly happy about my... beliefs. But I don't see why that should affect our friendship." Eli stated plainly. Okay, so it was more than their friendship that he was concerned about...

"Eli, how am I supposed believe in someone who believes in nothing?" Clare retorted, her voice starting to break, tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes. Now she couldn't possibly think that's true, could she?

"I believe in a lot of things. I believe in you. And I believe in me. And I believe that we have something really amazing when we are together. Don't you?" He said in an unwavering manner. Clare just sat there staring at him in shock, her mouth opening and closing again as though she was at a loss of what to say. But she didn't have to say anything. Eli could see everything in the way she was looking at him.

Eli couldn't resist it any longer, he had to show her that they had something worth believing in. He removed his seat belt and bridged the gap between them, kissing her for the first time.

**Clare's POV:**

Um, shocked much? Eli was _kissing_ her. And she wasn't dreaming, this was real! Her initial reaction was simply to kiss him back, what with his lips feeling so soft against hers and all. Could anything be more perfect than this? But wait, this was far from perfect. Eli was far from perfect. Why did this all have to be so conflicting? Why did she have to fall for someone that was so completely opposite from herself? She couldn't do this. Clare broke the kiss, pulling back and shaking her head as tears spilled down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Eli. I just can't."

Oh gosh, Clare could hardly believe that she was doing this to Eli. He looked shocked, _hurt_, all because she was too stubborn to put his differences aside and just love him like he deserved to be. Eli really did deserve to be loved, and Clare wanted to love him... but it would all just get too complicated! There was no way her parents would ever approve of him if they found out he wasn't a Christian.

Clare wanted to say something to Eli, try to explain herself. But she just couldn't think of anything to say that would help. He was just shaking his head in disbelief as he handed her back her phone. She took it with shaking hands and took that as her queue to leave. She stepped out of Morty onto the sidewalk, throwing the car door closed behind her. Not a minute after, Eli had the ignition started and he was speeding his way up the street.

As she watched the hearse spin out of sight her tears became more profuse until she was crying almost hysterically right there in front of the library. How did she ever manage to get herself into such a mess? Eli didn't deserve to have to go through this. Clare obviously had her problems right now, and it didn't seem fair to drag Eli though the mess along with her. It almost seemed better if he just stayed angry at her right now. He would be so much better off if he didn't allow himself to worry about her anymore.

Clare was sure she knew what she needed to do. She needed to do something that Eli would find unforgivable, drive him so far away that he wouldn't even be tempted to come back to her. However, it was unclear as to exactly what she could do to push him that far away... She was sure an opportunity would present itself.


	7. Burning Bridges

**Chapter 6  
**

_Burning Bridges  
_

**Clare's POV:**

After a few minutes of standing there alone on the curb, her tears subsided to a sniffle, though her eyes were still bloodshot and puffy from crying. Well, what was she going to do now? She could always call her mom to come pick her up, but she really didn't think she could handle a car ride home with her right now. There would just be too many questions that Clare didn't feel prepared to answer. She was just considering walking home when her thoughts were interrupted by the slight aroma of burning tobacco and the sound of footsteps. When she turned to see who was there, she was wishing to herself that she could be anywhere but here right now.

"Oi, brain! Aren't you supposed to be doing your homework or something?" Fitz said in a scathing manner as he took another long drag from his cigarette. Clare just rolled her eyes, trying to turn away so he wouldn't be able to see her face. This was the last thing that she needed right now.

"Just leave me alone, Fitz. Don't you have some underclassman to harass?" Clare said in an exasperated tone. She was just too emotionally exhausted to have to deal with Fitz and his bad attitude right now.

"Looks like that lot falls on you, cupcake." He said with a guffaw, chuckling to himself and putting out his cigarette before moving even closer to where Clare was standing. However when he caught a glimpse at her tear stained face he seemed to change his mind and kept a bit of distance from her. "What's the matter with you? Did emo boy break that little heart of yours, or what?"

"_That_ is none of your business." She told him sharply, though she was a little off put by the fact that Fitz's tone actually showed some genuine concern. It's not as though he was reaching out to her to be some sort of shoulder to cry on or anything, but it did almost make it sound as though Fitz actually cared if her heart was broken. Definitely a weird thought, and Clare was really hoping that she was just imagining it.

"Sheesh, sorry I asked. No need to take it out on me, though." He said with a shrug. He then looked up and down the street before turning back to Clare. "You waiting for someone?"

"I was just about to call my mom to come pick me up actually." She lied, brushing some hair away from her eyes so she could glare at the thug. At this point she was pretty dead set against calling her mom right now. She would rather walk home now, and she might have to seeing as she really didn't have anyone else to come and get her.

"Save yourself the phone call. I can take you home." That kind of made Clare eyes go bug eyed with shock. Why in the world would Fitz want to do her a favor? What exactly was he playing at?

"And why, pray tell, would you want to do that?" She asked as she turned to face him, her arms crossed firmly across her chest. It was probably pretty obvious that she did not trust his motives, and she was a little concerned of where she would actually end up if she agreed to get into a car with this hooligan.

"Let's just say I would love to see the look on _Eli's_ face if he were to see us together. Come on, you have to admit the possibility is tempting." He said with a crooked grin as he nodded in the direction of a car that Clare could only assume belonged to Fitz. Well he did have a point, it was tempting to see was sort of reaction it would elicit from Eli if he caught her in Fitz's car. Perhaps if she started spending time with Fitz, Eli would no longer have any desire to be with her. Sure, it wasn't as though spending time with the guy seemed at all pleasant, but there would be sacrifices to be made if she was to convince Eli that he didn't need her in his life.

"Fine. But it's straight to my house, no pit stops, no detours. Got it?" That just seemed to just make Fitz smirk as he started to make way towards his car, Clare following a safe distance behind. Fitz slid into the driver's seat, leaning across the cab of the car to unlock the passenger side for Clare. She had a moment of a second thought, but dismissed it and just got into the car and fastened her seat belt. Okay, so she was stuck in a car with Fitz, but that didn't mean she had to talk to him. The only words spoken the entire way to her house were Clare's directions on how to get there. When he came to a halt outside, Clare was all set to get out with a quick thank you and leave it at that, but it seemed that Fitz had something else in mind.

"You know, if all those tears were over that idiot, I think I have the perfect way for you to get back at him." Clare wasn't sure she wanted to know, but he had actually been nice long enough to drive her home, she could at least indulge him long enough to hear him out. Then she could simply dismiss it in the most polite way possible and be on her way. Though she wasn't actually prepared for this particular proposition. "You could go to that dance with me on Friday. I guarantee if we went together he would go crazy."

Yes, she was definitely surprised by his idea, but he did have a point. If he were to find out that she went to the dance with Fitz, he may never forgive her. But considering that was the kind of reaction she was hoping to get from Eli right now, it was making her do crazy things. Like accept Fitz's proposition. "Fine. Pick me up at eight."

And with that Clare got out of the car and headed straight up to her room. She realized that this was probably a stupid idea, but it might just be stupid enough to work.

**Eli's POV:**

The next morning, Eli had been half tempted to not even go in to school. However he knew that if he missed another day his dad would probably kill him. So he went, grudgingly, putting forth his best effort to not be in any of his usual places all day. He really didn't want Clare to be able to find him, even though he really wasn't sure she was looking for him. For all he knew Clare was avoiding him with equal effort. Now he knew that he would have to see her come English, but he would do everything possible not to have to see her until then.

Come lunch time, rather than heading to the picnic tables where he usually sat with Clare and Adam, he opted for retreating out to Morty in the parking lot. From where he sat he could see the picnic tables, but neither Clare nor Adam were occupying any of them. Yep, he was pretty sure Clare was avoiding him now. Now if he weren't paying so much attention to the courtyard searching for Clare, he probably wouldn't have been so startled to hear the knock on the passenger side of the hearse. He jumped a little as he flipped around to see who had come knocking.

"Damn it, Adam!" He cursed, leaning over to unlock the door so Adam could join him. Of course Adam would know how to find him. Not that it bothered him since it wasn't him that Eli was intentionally avoiding.

"Dude, what gives? You just plan on hiding out all day?" Adam said with a huff as he slammed the car door shut behind him. He seemed pretty annoyed with something, but since Eli hadn't been around all day he had no clue what it could be.

"Maybe." He said with a shrug, seeing Adam rolling his eyes at him.

"Man, just because Clare has apparently gone crazy doesn't mean you have to waste all of your time moping out here." Gone crazy, what the hell was that supposed to mean? He had assumed that she might be a little broody today, but that didn't really constitute crazy behavior.

"What in the hell are you talking about Adam?" Eli said in a flustered tone, seeing Adam's eyes go wide as he realized that Eli had no idea what he was talking about.

"Wow you must have seriously been in a hole all day. All I've heard anyone talk about all day is how Clare is going to that dance with Fitz." What the hell? No way, that couldn't possibly be true. There was no way that Clare could be so stupid.

"And how did that rumor come about?" Eli could only assume that it was something that Fitz was spreading around to get to him. He had to know that it would piss him off, considering how obvious it was he and Clare were close... or at least had been.

"I'm afraid it's the truth, bro. Heard it from Clare herself. Why do you think she's hiding out? She's freaked that everyone is talking about her." Adam told him as cautiously as he could. It seemed as though Adam was waiting for him to explode, but he was strangely calm. Numb, almost. Was she intentionally trying to hurt him? That was the only explanation he could come up with. Well one thing was for sure, Eli would not be going to English today. Or for the rest of the week if he could avoid it.

Come Friday if she actually went through with her date with that jerk, Eli didn't think he would be able to speak to her again.

**Please don't hate me for this, but things have to get worse before they get better! And I swear, eventually they will get better, you just have to be patient with me. I just hate for things to come together too easily.**


	8. Belle of the Ball

**Chapter 8  
**

_Belle of the Ball  
_

**Clare's POV:**

Stupid, stupid Clare! How could she have possibly allowed herself to get into such a messy situation? Here it was, Friday, ten minutes to eight, And she was sitting at home waiting for _Fitz_ to pick her up for the dance. It just all felt so wrong. She should have never accepted, she should be sitting around in sweatpants and eating ice cream as everyone else went to the dance without her. But no, she'd put on her nice black dress, her hair and make-up was done and she was going.

As she sat in her living room, she couldn't tear her eyes away from the clock on the wall. As the minutes ticked by (each more slowly than the next), Clare prayed over and over to herself that he just wouldn't show, that this was supposed to be some sort of joke on her. Haha, leave her waiting all night and never show. But to her dismay, almost the second the clock hit eight, she heard the slight squeal of brakes and a car door slamming shut.

It could just be a neighbor, or someone delivering a pizza, or... _knock, knock, knock_. Shoot, and all of Clare's hopes went down the drain. She forced herself to her feet and moved to the front door. As she swung it open, she couldn't hide her surprise that Fitz had actually bothered to clean himself up for the occasion. He was even wearing a suit and the whole shebang. But the one thing he was wearing that surprised her even more than the suit was a smile. He was _smiling_. Now things were starting to piece together in Clare's head: this wasn't just about paying Eli back, Fitz had actually _wanted_ to go to the dance with her.

"Hey, Clare. Wow you look nice. You ready to go?" For the first time in her life she truly felt sorry for Fitz. How was she going to go about this without either hurting his feelings or leading him on? The best she could think to do was to stay polite, but distant. She would have to find some way to let him down easy, lest he take out his anger on her. Or worse, on Eli.

"Um, thanks. You look good to. We should probably get going." She said as she flew past him and let herself into the car. The entire drive to the school was incredibly awkward, seeing as neither of them could seem to think of anything to say. Just as well in Clare's opinion, the less that they talked the better.

Clare was almost relieved as they reached the school's parking lot, letting herself out of the car and slowly starting to approach the front steps. A sense of dread was starting to set in as she thought about what awaited her inside. It didn't help that as Fitz caught up with her, he placed his hand on the small of her back as though leading her inside. She almost wanted to cringe away from him, but to be fair she had agreed to allow him to be her date this evening, she should at least let him act like one. However, if he tried anything fresh she would clock him.

Stepping into the gymnasium, she just knew that Eli was already there waiting for them. Even before she could see him, she could feel his eyes bearing into them. Her eyes scanned the room until she spotted him lurking along the back wall, a contrary Adam accompanying him. It was painful to look at him, considering the loathing that she could see in his face. Well, it was her intention to hurt him just enough to drive him away. Mission accomplished, or so it seemed. She was so lost in her own thoughts right now that she nearly jumped out of her skin when a voice reached her ear.

"So... did you want to dance or something?" And with that she was dragged back into reality. Ah, of course they had to walk in just as a slow song was starting. Clare, you got yourself into this mess, and you will just have to deal with the consequences. She gave a short nod and let Fitz lead her onto the dance floor. To give Fitz some credit, he was at least doing his best to be a gentleman. He was keeping his hands in only appropriate places and everything.

If this kept up, then maybe her night wouldn't turn out as horribly as she was expecting.

**Eli's POV:**

Over and over again, Eli was questioning what he was even doing here. Why put himself through this agony? Maybe he just needed closure, maybe by seeing Clare here with that neanderthal would be enough for him to realize that he needed to get over her. But it seemed that it was proving to not be that simple.

After a good hour of watching the gymnasium doors, he finally saw who he was looking for. As that idiot led Clare into the room, Eli felt his insides catch fire with jealousy. It didn't help that Clare looked absolutely stunning tonight. That should have been him on her arm tonight, that should have been him leading her onto the dance floor with his arms around her waist. God, it made Eli's skin crawl just to see Fitz put his hands on her.

And it continued to do so for the next several songs. Some fast, some slow, but each one Fitz got to touch her and that was more than that thug deserved. Clare was way too good for him. She deserved someone who was smart, and funny, and adored the very ground she walked on... Okay so to think that he deserved Clare more than Fitz did was probably more than a little cocky and selfish, but he thought it was the truth. He was just so sure that he would be able to make her happy in a way that no one else could.

Oh god, he was in love with her.

And how was it he was just figuring this out now? Sure, he had liked her practically since the day he met her. He had spent the better part of his days thinking of ways to get her to kiss him. But love? He was in dangerous territory now.

He had been in love once before, and that experience only proved that it never ended well for him. But there was just something about Clare that made him feel like it was worth taking the risk. And he would be damned if he let another person he loved slip between his fingers. No, he would not lose her like this. He wouldn't lose her to _Fitz_. He had to make her see sense! But how?

He could try brewing up another one of his schemes, come up with a plan to catch her alone. He could draw up some elaborate plot to get her back. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that this was not the time for such things. Maybe for once, he should just try being straight forward. He couldn't trick her into loving him back, he couldn't trap her heart like it was some sort of game. Maybe, just maybe, this time honesty would just have to be enough.

It was decided. Eli pulled out his phone, scrolling through his contacts until he fell on Clare's name and sent her a text.

_You can stop torturing us both now._  
_If you can get away, would you please meet me on the front steps?_  
_We need to talk._

Snapping his phone shut, he watched Clare as she checked her phone, throwing a glance in his direction. After a moment she said something to Fitz and started walking towards the bathrooms. However before she got there she veered off course and slipped through the doors to the front. Eli smiled to himself, told Adam he would be back and rushed on out after her. This was going to be it, he was going to tell the truth. He was going to admit that he was in love with Clare Edwards._  
_


End file.
